Mixed Feelings

So here I am sitting not really wanting to write but I’m going to in hopes that it will help me feel better once I get it out. Let me first start out by stating that I am so thankful for Twink and I love with ALL of my being. I would be lost without her.


I am frustrated, angry, scared, sad, tired and just feeling down right now. I want to scream enough some days. Are we the only ones who are going through all of these problems? Doesn’t anyone else have problems once they come home from China? No one talks about it and to be honest, it feels pretty lonely. I refuse to brush things under the carpet because if I can help someone at some point than I will!


I am frustrated that Twink is not progressing as fast as “everyone” said she would. I just wish everyone would keep their assumptions to themselves. Please don’t make things fluffy for me; I do better with the raw truth. I can take it in and process it better that way. I am a nurse after all and I can’t stand doctors who sugar coat things! I am frustrated that people seem to think I know the answers that only the Lord knows. Questions as to whether she’ll be able to hear or talk. HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW!! I get so frustrated with the sensory issues. Holy if you’ve never had the joy of a child with sensory issues, count your blessings!


I’m angry that this little girl has not had a break from the doctors since we’ve been home. We’ve been to the doctors at least every other week since we’ve been home from China. We are still not done with appointments yet. We’ll be home 6 months on June 19th. I did know going into this adoption that there would be many appointments but never in my wildest dream did I think we’d have this many. Then again, we thought she had something completely different wrong with her. No fault to China, it was just how things worked out. It was what the Lord had planned.

I’m scared! I don’t know what my girl will be able to do and what she will not be able to do. Talking to her therapist about her hearing test and she said there is a very good chance that Twink has major hearing damage on her right side. Thing is that didn’t bother me. The thing that bothered me is if she does use sign language at this time she does not have the ability to use her right hand. Her therapist said that could cause her problems later. I worry when she runs a fever that she will have a seizure and we are not even sure it was a febrile seizure. Sure would be nice if we would hear back from the neurologist for an appointment!

I’m just sad, sad that she has to go through this.

I’m tired of going to the doctors but thankful that she has some awesome doctors taking care of her! Honestly, how much more does Twink need to go through?


I am so happy for those of you whose children are doing well, I don’t wish anything but good for them, honestly! I just don’t hear of anyone who really has any problems. Everyone comes home and all is peachy. So if your one of those who is or who has had problems let me know I’m not alone. (I like to hear from all you who are doing well too ;) )


Would I do it all over again - ABSOLUTELY! Would I do a special needs adoptions again if given the chance - ABSOLUTELY!

Priceless Pictures!

*There is a poll to the right in my side bar. Please vote if you would. The first one is spelled wrong - it is Mission not Missions.*

Thankful Thursday!

There is so much I am thankful for, my husband being one of them. I am thankful that he loves me and is my soul mate. I am thankful he broght me to the Lord! I am thankful he works as hard as he does to provide for our family and that I am able to stay home with our children. I am thankful that he is a great father. He helps me stay on top of the house. Yes, I have a husband who helps clean the house. I couldn't do it all without it him! I love my husband!

Thanks for making me feel better yesterday!

New Blog Name - HELP!!

So most of you know that I make dresses but what you don't know is that I will be using the profit from those dresses to go on a missions trip sometime in the future. I have felt for a long time that I am suppose to serve somewhere and I am looking forward to it.

So here is the deal - I need to come with a name for a blog that will be just for the dresses. I will take my favorite top two choices and let you all vote. Let's see who is creative because we know that I'm not or I wouldn't be asking all of you! LOL

An Invader

All was quite as Twink was down for a nap so I decided to go and check and see where Spitfire was and to my surprise this is what I found! If Twink hadn't already taken a nap I probably wouldn't have been too happy. Who could resist taking this photo.

Pay It Forward

Carla over at Baseball and Ballerinas had a wonderful idea to Pay It Forward. This is just about random acts of kindness in every day life. Paying for the person's toll behind you, stopping and helping an elderly person, charity work, even letting a car in line in front of you even though you have been waiting for quite a while. Paying It Forward - a great and simple concept.

So, here's my part. I will send a gift to the first 3 people that respond to this post. If you are one of the 3 people how about putting this pledge on your blog and lets keep this rolling!!

Who wants to play??

Send a Message to a Child in China

Young boys and girls have been on the streets – cold and wet - for days. Along with aid, Children’s Hope volunteers hope to deliver encouragement, by means of 200 drawings. Send a message for these young children – a drawing and a few words showing that caring people across oceans are helping bring security and help in these traumatic times.

Mail your drawing, your name, and a photo (optional) by e-mail (if you have a scanner available) to lettertochild@childrenshope.net or by mail to Children’s Hope International, Emergency Fund, 11780 Borman Drive, St. Louis, MO 63146-4157.

Please create drawings using 8.5” x 11” white typing paper. If sending by mail, take care to not fold the paper.