Going Through The Motions

Not very well either I might add!

Racial Identification?

The look from Twink is about how I feel when we received a letter home from our local school district. The letter/form title reads Student Racial and Ethnic Identification. It states in this letter that they have adopted a new policy that requires them to collect this information. The information will be used for the following:

- Report information to the State and Federal Education Departments
- Plan educational programs and make sure that they are readily available to all students.
- Study the movement of students in different ethnic groups as they move from school to school.
- Analyze differences in academic performance, attendance and completion of school.

If this form is not filled out a student records officer from our school or the district will be required to identify the group to which the student appears to belong, identifies with, or is regarded in the community as belonging.

Does anybody else see this as wrong? I know people who do not have children of a minority race see no problem with it but I just do not see why this is REQUIRED! We have already given this information once when we register the child for school so why do have to do it again?

I can tell you that both of my children from China are register with the school system but do not attend the schools. One goes to a deaf school and the other is in the preschool program. We are moving out of the school district but I am disappointed that they have decided they needed this new policy.

What are your thoughts?

Baby of The House

Twink is the baby of the house when it comes down to the ages of all of the children. I've been thinking about something for now for awhile. When we decided to adopt last time we knew we were going to go older and in between Spitfire and Dash. I've always felt that Twink needed to be the "baby" of the house.

It was my thought that she would not do well with someone younger than her. When in fact she actually plays better with a child that is a year or two younger than her. See I believe it is more my own fear that plays into that mind set.

The thought of Twink having a younger sibling makes me quite sad. The thought of that sibling one day surpassing her in something just does not give me warm cozies. We recently had a little tike (almost 1.9 yr old) over at our house and I could not believe how well she was talking! Made my stomach kind of ache. Then I did a little dance for how far our girl has actually come. My niece Special K who will be 1 yr next month is pooping in the potty! Ummm, I can't for the life of me get Twink to poop in the potty. She is fully pee trained but no poops. I actually think she is withholding.

When I get frustrated people feel the need to remind me that Twink either had a stroke or has cerebral palsy. REALLY!! I forgot that tiny tidbit, thanks for reminding me. It's pretty hard not to compare your 4 1/2 yr old to a younger child who is far exceeding what your child is doing. Most days I'm fine but there are days that are harder than some.

Twink just has her own rhythm that she moves to! :)

How Far We've Come

**Video has been added at the end of the post! :) Thanks Carla L.!!

Two years ago we received word on the extent of Twinks "disability". It was shocking to say the least. We did not expect to hear cerebral palsy and we did not expect to hear that she would never be able to talk. We we not prepared for the possibility of Autism as well. We simply thought she had a brain cyst.

If you look at the first three pictures below you can see what we dealt with pretty much on a daily basis. A truly frustrated, withdrawn, grief stricken child. There were many happy times but Twink had these tantrums below multiple times a day. Remember this post? I can happily say Twink does not do this anymore. Well maybe on a much lower level. The blank look I was told was Autism. She did display a few signs of it. We did have her tested and she narrowly passed the test from what I was told just a couple of months ago. I was am convinced it was a mixture of her brain injury and post-institutional autism. Her developmental doctor wanted to retest her in the coming months. Which leads me to this post!

We saw Twinks developmental doctor last week and we blew her out of the water with how far she has come. Twinks speech is coming at us faster than we can keep up. Some of it is still unclear and she still babbles from time to time but this child will tell you what is on her mind! She has new phrases that she has picked up, let me share them with you.

- Noooooo
- Go away
- Wanna go in the car/outside/play
- Kids bothering me
- Leave me alone
- We going to church
- I go potty
- It hurts (she says this for EVERYTHING!!)
- She names everyone in the house by name
- Says thank-you until you say your welcome

There are so many more! Some really funny ones too but I just can not think of them off the top of my head. Everyone has noticed how much more she is talking. Her doctor did not even mention testing her again! Twink visits this doctor every three months so you can get a good idea how much she has progressed in three short months. In fact this whole school year has been amazing progress for her.

Our girl has over come so much! Remember back to when the doctor told us she would never talk was gut wrenching. I'd say it was the worst day of our life as parents but many of you know we've had worse days than that! It was a hard day though. To think that you will never hear your sweet childs voice is a hard pill to swallow. That very same night the Lord gave me a glimer of hope to hold onto. Twink said Mama that night! That very same night the doctor told me she would never talk.

After her very first seizure Twink lost every word that she gained as well as every new sound she made. Same thing happened with her second seizure to a little bit less degree. With every seizure I live with a little fear that she will be set back in her speech. I'd like to say that I'd be OK with it if she lost her speech capability but I've had a small glimpse at what she is capably of doing. I don't want to go backwards. She has fought so hard to get to where she is and we will keep fighting this fight with her. She is my inspiration!

Twink is the reason why we were open to a child with a hearing disability. She opened our eyes that communication comes in forms other than verbal. So while we fight to help her become verbal we fight another fight to help our son become fluent in American Sign Language. Who by the way started school yesterday! I'll post tomorrow about his first couple of days.

To those parents who have children with speech delay don't give up hope. It's a long road but as long as your willing to press on then you will see progress. Baby steps all the way! :)

I had a video to put up but I see that blogger no longer has the capability to place video's on your blog. What happened? Anyone know how I can put a video on?

The picture below is Twink dancing with her shadow!

What's Wrong?

You've probably all been wondering where I've been. OK maybe some of you have and some of you could careless! ;) I've always said I would be honest with all of you on this blog. It helps others who are adoptive parents learn. If we can't share and learn from each other than what is the point of our blogs?

Please know that I love my family and my children with all of my heart. They are my life. Also know that I love Bebo as well. I am forever grateful that God chose our family for him! We entered his adoption much like Twinks, with no exception.

The past couple of weeks have been hard. I am really struggling. I wish I could pin it all on one thing but there is so much going on around me that I become so overwhelmed. Bebo has adjust better than we could have ever asked for but I wish I could say the same for me. Some days I do better but other days I'm terrible. Sometimes I feel a huge rage just well up inside of me, it is kind of scary. I'm not even sure where it comes from. By the end of the day I've had enough noise, kids, fighting, tattling, etc. I just want to hear myself think for a few minutes.

Dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis does not help. Not much I can do to relieve it, just pray that warm weather comes quickly. We are tossing around the idea of moving and what that would mean in terms of schooling for Bebo and Twink. We would not be close enough to the state school for the deaf for Bebo which has us a bit stressed. Twink has other options so we are not worried about her.

It was suggested we buy Bebo hearing aids. We are working on trying to find possible grants that work with children who are deaf for the aids. We were told they cost about 2K  for each one. With that said The Count and I are not in agreement with cochlear implants. We have to do at least 6 months of HA's before we reach any decision of CI. We see the cleft team the first week of May. Our dentist told us that there is a possibility there may something more going on with Bebo but will not know anything until we see this team of doctors.

As you can see there is quite a bit going on and this mama is feeling a bit stressed. I know we are still trying to adjust as a family. I've been here before, I know it will get better but the road seems long and dark some days.I am struggling.

Awe Struck!

If you have not seen this video please take the time to view it. I believe most who follow my blog will have the same reaction I did when I saw it today. :)

Mama

The look on her face says it all. 

We had just arrived home after 17 days in China adopting our new son and a new brother for the children. We had made amazing arrangements for our children that we were leaving at home. An amazing friend offered to stay in our home with her children (whom she home schools) and ours so there would be as little change for Twink as possible. All the children could go to school and Twink could still have the stability and comfort of our home. We talked to the children via Skype while in China and Twink would come over a few times but she was usually her busy self.

When we arrived at the airport Twink had just awoken for her nap. This is NEVER a good thing especially if it is not a long enough one. She needs to wake up gradually and on her own terms. Needless to say she was none to pleased to see us. She literally screamed if I got close to her. She only wanted Michele (my friend). Known this is how she is when she wakes up I thought I'd give her a few minutes and all would be good. Boy was I ever wrong.

When I heard the words Mama come out of her mouth I was excited for a split second. I say a split second because they were not directed towards me, they were directed towards Michele. It was an awkward moment. Michele was trying to calm Twink and explain to me that she had just started calling her that in the last couple of days. She had been calling her Wawha up until two days before we came home. 

Our luggage did not arrive so we had to wait around for what seemed like forever. Anytime I would try to get close to Twink she would become upset and I would receive some serious glares. I even tried to bribe her with a lolly pop. It became evident our luggage was going to be delivered to our house so The Count took Twink from Michele. Then it happened. She started to scream.....for.....Michele Mama! 

It....was....awful!

I was having flashbacks of China all over again. Was she? Just what was she thinking? I was literally left standing there looking on with friends and family as The Count walked away with our baby girl screaming for another woman she was calling (thought?) Mama. Did I mention she VERY seldom called me Mama? I could go through the long list of emotions I was feeling at that moment but I really just longed to hold her. I wanted her to want ME!

It will be a VERY long time before we leave her again. Never in a million years did we expect her to react the way she did. If I had known she would reacted like she had, I would have stayed home.

Think about this for a second. Any of us adoptive parents go to China for about two weeks. We hope and pray that our new child starts to form a bond to us by the end of our two weeks, right? We are replacing some important people that stood in their lives for either a short period of their lives or for a very long period of their lives. While Evan was bonding with us in China, Twink was bonding with Michele back in our home where she felt safe.

I do not know if it goes back to her time in China. I can only guess. I can only guess that she thought we were not coming back. I'm sure there are people out there that will think I'm over analyzing. I've seen her reaction to her adoption video and she remembers something!

It took the entire weekend to regain Twinks full trust again that we were not leaving her. She tried to push our buttons, refused to eat, and started calling EVERYONE Mama! All is well now and she is calling everyone by name and I am now officially Mama! :D

I will never forget that I am replaceable!

Communication

Many could say our communication with Twink is a struggle. We do rather well most days. We've actually been complimented on how well we can read her and understand her wants and needs.

There is one area that is extremely hard. We had a video done for Twinks adoption journey. She will watch it with no problems until the moment her orphanage director takes her from her Foster Father's arms and places her in mine. She actually will hide her head in my chest and cry the minute she sees the director turn around with her. I picked up on it the very first time she watched it with us. She even had a hard time sleeping the next couple of nights after viewing the video. The second time she watched it, it happened again. The same exact response. We put the video away for awhile.

A couple weeks ago The Count and I were watching it and didn't even think about her reaction but sure enough she turned and clung to me. She sobbed. It amazes me that a child not even two (almost) can remember almost two years later. What makes us sad is she can not express what it is that makes her so upset. We can only guess. So we reassure her that she is safe with us and that day, December 10th was a very hard day for her. We pray one day that she will be able to tell us in her own words, what it is excactly that makes her so sad about that part of the video. She did watch it just a couple of days ago without turning away but did cry for a few minutes after viewing it. It will be awhile before we watch it again.

twink is proof that children can remember into their past and it still makes her sad.

It's Important To Her

So it is very important to us.

Twink has been home from China now for 21 months. We have recently noticed that she is becoming more aware of her surroundings. She seems to be soaking in everything within her sights. We have often wondered if Twink saw the difference in our family. We do believe she does.

Last week we went to a new church. We went knowing there was a larger diversity and also adoptive families. We want our children to have the diversity that a larger church would offer and this church does. When we were leaving there was an Asian family leaving a few feet ahead of us. Twink watched them until they were out of her sight. Her eyes never moved from them. Even as we passed their car, she turned her head so she could see this family. Made me wonder what she was thinking.

Then tonight, tonight at AWANA she sought out an Asian teen who just adored her. While the other girls in the circle tried to play with her, Twink wanted no part of them! She wanted the young lady who looked like her. When she was done showing off for her she went to a table where there where three Asians were sitting having coffee. She wanted them to acknowledge her but they just glanced at her, smiled and went on with their conversation. She could have picked 6 other tables to go try to strike up a conversation but nope.

See, our daughter is non-verbal at this time and is unable to tell us just how important it is to have others around her that look like her. Her actions speak louder than any words ever could. We are trying to give our daughter something she is craving. I hope all AP's see the importance of encircling their child with adults and friends who look as they do. Now I'm not saying all their friends need to look as they do but a couple would be nice. When we move, this will be of high importance to us along with a handful of other things.

Watch you child, you may learn more from watching them than you might from hearing them.

Twink will be so excited when her big brother comes home from China, as will the rest of the family! :)

This Momma Needs Help!

I'm not really sure where to begin. As you can see from the video Twinks melt downs are what is on my (our) mind. I really thought that after a year and half that they would improve. We are dealing with these numerous times a day and to be honest they are about to send me over the deep end. I am a mess. I feel like I am on pins and needless and I myself am ready to cry at the drop of a hat. If Twink doesn't get her way it sets her off. If she doesn't like something the crying can go on forever!
I just don't know what to do. I don't know if it sensory related, behavioral issues due to the stroke, adoption related or typical toddler behavior. We are a waiting to hear when her appointment is for her sensory evaluation, shouldn't be too much longer. Her developmental doctor did tell us that Twink is a bit extreme with her emotions. More so than most the patients she sees. She mentioned that if her behavior were to continue into the school years that she may need a small dose of medication. The medication she mentioned I know very well as I used it at the hospital I worked at. Bob and I have started her on some Omega's so hopefully that will actually help with her behavior as well as her speech. I have talked with The Count about seeking out an attachment therapist.
I am to the point where I do not look forward to bringing her out in public. One wrong move and the whole event is shot. It usually stems from her not having her way. If we ask her to walk she will refuse and plop down and start screaming. She likes to do this when she comes home from school or if we ask her to hold hands. She is upset really easy. I would call her SUPER sensitive. If she is upset and The Count or I hold her, it only makes things worse. She cries harder and longer which makes me tense. If I give her a quick hug and kiss, let her cry, walk a way and ignore her it does not last as long. Is this wrong though?
We love Twink with all our heart and would not trade any of this for the world. As frustrated as this is she truly brings a ton of JOY to our family. All we want to do is help her and I'm not sure what to do. We have been helping her physically but what about the emotional aspect? Any suggestions would be helpful.

Cloud 9

I guess this is a bit of a teaser but I really don't mean it to be. We received an update with pictures of Bebo yesterday and is he ever sweet. The referral information we received was over 14 months old so we requested for updated information. I actually thought it would take longer to receive as we are finishing up are home study next month. We have not sent in our LOI/EA as our agency like to wait until our home study is complete. I actually thought we'd receive the update with our PA. So when I opened my I e-mail while on the phone with my husband and saw that our FC e-mailed with the subject "Update" I about jumped out of my skin!

We know that his height is 45in, weight is 45.5, and feet is about a size 12 in the US. He has 20 teeth and I so hope we can travel before he looses any baby teeth. I'd like to take a couple of pictures of him smiling before that happens. It won't be the end of the world but some thing I'd really like to be a part of.

The pictures the orphanage sent are ten times better than the ones we had with our referral. I swear they dressed him in brand new clothes. I don't even think they washed them yet as they looked stiff with the crease down the pant legs. He just looks so serious in ever picture I've seen. I can't wait to see him break a smile. He has grown so much. Like I said the pictures were old and he looked like a toddler and now he looks like a little boy. :( He is sweet. :)

A few other items we learned - he loves to eat meat, eggs, foods made with flour and fruit. He like to watch cartoons and play with toy cars. His favorite colors are dark colors such as navy blue. Think he'll like this bedding?
Where it looks like it is light green it is actually a tan and green but the tan is more dominant. I really hope he likes it. Any idea on what color to paint his room? We are open to suggestions.

Want to see some stats. Here are how my three little ones measure up next to each other as of right now.

Bebo - age 6.3

Height - 45 in

Weight - 45.5 lbs

Spitfire - age 4.8

Height - 41 in

Weight - 42 lbs

Twink - age 3.3

Height - 37.5 in

Weight - 36 lbs

They are all almost 4 inches apart in height and a 1 1/2 apart in age. I really think Twink will be as tall if not taller than Spitfire at some point. I did measure Dash and he was 55in and he weights 68lbs. I won't put Jewels info on her as she might kill me! LOL I can tell you she is almost as tall as me and she is LOVING that!!

We are longing even more to go to China. Praying things start moving for us.

Speech Frustrations

There are days when the sadness take hold of me and it seems for a few reasons that it has a firm grip on me lately.

This is our daughter Twink. She is signing daddy or father in sign language. Twink had a stroke in her first moms uterus or soon after birth. The stroke spliced her speech center and Twink can not talk like a "normal" 3.3 year old.

Although she is making HUGE steps in her speech they would seem like baby steps to you. I will admit, some days they seem like baby steps to me.

It is hard when we are out and about and people assume that she doesn't speak English because she hasn't been in the US for very long. Sorry to say but she has been here for 16 months now. Or they look at her and because she is almost as big as my 4 1/2 yr old think she can carry on a conversation. I feel like I have to go into her life history everywhere! It is frustrating. How about when someone speaks up and tells your daughters story in front of both of you. Twink is very smart and understands everything. She might not be able to talk but she is taking in everything your saying.

As of right now our speech therapist and our pediatric developmental doctor have thrown out two speech disorders.

Apraxia of Speech is a speech disorder characterized by inability to speak, or a severe struggle to speak clearly. Apraxia of speech occurs when the oral-motor muscles do not or cannot obey commands from the brain, or when the brain cannot reliably send these commands. Apraxia of speech is characterized by highly inconsistent speech errors. Children with apraxia can be helped with intensive speech therapy.

Dysarthria is a neurologic speech disorder caused by paralysis, weakness, improper muscle tone or incoordination of the muscles of the mouth. Dysarthria is not a disorder of language.
Symptoms of dysarthria may include speech that is slurred, slow, and difficult to produce and/or understand. The person with dysarthria may also have problems controlling the pitch, loudness, rhythm and voice qualities of their speech. Associated problems may include drooling and difficulty chewing and swallowing. Unlike apraxia of speech, the speech errors that occur with dysarthria are highly consistent from one occasion to the next.

For the most part Twink does well getting her point across. Whether it be with what sign language she has or through pointing. It's amazing when you know your child so well that you can read their expressions or body language and know how or what they are thinking. I think the poem that I put up on Monday did an amazing job describing the feelings of both parent and child who suffer from speech problems.

Right now Twink receives speech three times a week. In June, she will receive speech therapy four times a week. When we first met Twink in China they only thing she said was GaGa. Now she tries to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She tries to repeat words and some times if you listen carefully she will bust out with a sentence. It's all sporadic but we will take it. When Twink signs or speaks some thing new we cheer like crazy! You should see how excited she gets when we do this.

Our daughter amazes us. For a little girl who's entire left side of her brain has been damaged by a stroke she does things that should not be possible. She is perfect in every way. I may get frustrated at times as does she but I wouldn't change her for the world. She has taught us many things. If it were not for Twink we may not have pursued adopting Beams.

Did I tell you that our beautiful daughter Jewel, is doing her health project on Cerebral Palsy? :D Now that makes this moms heart melt.

Answered Prayers!

**Be sure to have your volume turned on so you know what is going on**

We hope you enjoyed our children’s reaction as much as we did. Spitfire was a little hesitant at first but after about 20 minutes really came around. We wish we had captured some of things she was saying then because her excitement was really starting to show.
So, we always knew we would go back for our son but just didn’t know the timing. God does however and his timing is perfect and it is now. The Count and I started to seriously talk about it a few months ago. The conversations first started to lean towards opening our home to foster care and then before we knew it were discussing the possibilities of adopting again from China. Going back was something we knew we would do but probably wait a few years. As we talked we started to ask why we were waiting a few years. Now was the time. Twink has made huge strides and continues to show even further improvement almost daily. My health with my neck will always have certain limitations but am about as healed as I will get. The Count will be done with school later this year so now is the time.
We had started a new blog about a month ago for this new journey and we’ll open that up once China approves us. We thought the Lord was opening certain doors with a certain child but after several weeks, realized this was not God’s plan for us. Our new path has led us to a little 6 year old boy. We officially accepted his referral today. We have worked on our paperwork over the last few weeks and most of it is done and ready to go. Our hope is to travel in early January of next year to bring him home. We always wished that we brought Jewel when we brought Twink home so this time we will bring her. We will write more later but please keep us in your prayers as we embark on this new journey.
When we have our approval from China we will be able to post more about our little guy. As for the name, we are still working on that one. Just when we think we have one we change it! LOL

Autisim Test Results

We had an appointment for Twink today that I thought going in was a joke but was doing it anyway. When we first brought Twink home her developmental doctor was concerned she might be autistic. For awhile she did look autistic but I knew that very well could have been from China. Well ever month Twink would improve and the doctor asked if I would do the test. At four months home we were NOT willing to do the test. The Count and I felt Twink had not been home long enough for her to adjust. We did have the test schedule when she was home for about 9 months. Well as the Lord would have it we had to cancel due to lack of insurance coverage for the doctor who performed the test. I originally wanted to wait one full year for Twink to be tested. As it turned out when we reschedule it was schedule for January of 09! Just a little over a year of Twink enter into our family.

Twink's test today determined she is NOT autistic! She does not even fall on the spectrum. :) I do believe she has some sensory issues but we can handle whatever those obstacles are.

My advise to all of you adopting children from other countries and your put in a similar situation would be to wait! Why test the in the first few months of being home? Stand firm! Give the child a chance to adjust to a totally different life. Let the child blossom in your care and you'll be amazed at the difference. Now I'm not saying that ALL children will be as lucky as Twink was but I do believe MOST will be. So we are so extremely happy to have finally gone to this doctor and to have left with some good news and not another referral! :)

Metcha Day One Year Later

One year ago today on December 10, 2007 our family was forever changed! It was a change for the good. It was the day we met our Twink. I'm not sure I can put into words what this past year has been like with Twink. So many emotions, highs and lows. I knew from the moment I saw her that she was a strong little girl in so many ways. It might have been the fight she put on to get away from me on Metcha Day or the fact that she was walking that day. I was floored by her strength and to this day I am in awe of her.

Looking back over the last year I've seen this child who could barely sit up, not eat solid food, looked and acted very autistic grow into a beautiful little girl. We were going to doctors every other week if not weekly for awhile. I probably could have taken things slower but then I don't think we would be as far as we are right now. We have been blessed to have such a great developmental doctor who helps line up different doctors and therapies.

Twink joined our family and since that beautiful day none of our lives have been the same. Her siblings look forward to coming home from school and seeing her. You should see her sweet face when they walk through the door. She gets very excited and lets out a squeel.

At times I get overwhelmed with emotions. What if we had turned down this beautiful child out of fear of the unknown? I mean a brain cyst is pretty heavy stuff. I'm so thankful to our Lord who pointed us in all the right directions and who gave us faith to accept her as our daughter. I also am thankful that it was not until we returned home that we found out that she had a stroke in utero which caused her to have cerebral palsy. When one hears CP generally they think the worst case. Not knowing really how or what CP was I'm not sure how things would have turned out. Knowing me, I'm sure I would have done a ton of research and been OK with it but I don't know. I just think things worked out the way they did because HE knew. Thank you Lord, we could not have done any of this without you!

Look how far Twink has come! Oh and if you'd like to view our adoption video here you go.

This is the that I posted one year ago (a day Late)
December 11, 2007 (Day 5 and another summery of Day 4 from Cheri)

Wow, is all I can say. I sit here and watch this beautiful little girl sleep and she is just so precious! Yesterday was an amazing day! I thank God for answered prayers in so many ways! We walked into that civil affairs building with so much knowledge, thanks to so many friends on-line. We knew that Twink would not be thrilled to see us. When we walked in and saw her walking it was all I could do to keep from sobbing. I'm not sure how many of you reading know but Twink has an Arachnoid Brian Cyst that will need to be drained (surgery) when we return home. We were told she was not walking but knew that after the cyst was drained she may start. We planned on giving her the best home no matter what. We loved her from the beginning. Trust in the Lord! She does have weakness in her right arm but that too will come around after surgery with some physical therapy!

Twink reacted much like I had expected her to. She tried to push me away, threw herself backwards, hit me and pulled my hair. You could see how mad and confused she was. Her whole world was changing. Here she was in a room full of different looking people, speaking a totally different language who smelled different too. We were taking her from everything and everyone she's ever known. Imagine your two year old and how they might react if a stranger came and took them. When she cried you can hear how sad she is. It is so heart breaking.

She had two directors drive her to the Civil Affairs building in Kunming. What wonderful men they were. They were so excited and so grateful she now has a forever family. We have a physical address for her foster family so we can send pictures of her to them. I'm not sure if we can write to them or not but we'll see. They brought a gift for me to give to Twink for when she is older. It is a purse and their part of minority outfit. It is beautiful. They also returned the items we sent in Lia's care package. I'm not sure if she received them but they did take about 12 pictures or so. I think we are going to try and do the one hour photo place here so we can see what is on it.

Last night was very tough. She cried for a long time. I'm sure she is mourning all that she has lost. First her foster family now the orphanage, but things are getting better. The Count had some great bonding time with her last night. He had her laughing and giggling. Today has been really good until this evening. She loves to throw her self back. I can tell you my arms are pretty sore. We are not sure when she has a headache so I did give her Motrin. I also started her on her antibiotic because she was tugging at her ears pretty good. She is taking a "nap" right now. I think we'll have to do something about that! I would love it if she slept from now until morning. Yesterday she woke back up from her nap at 8pm just like the director said she would. She is sleeping a bit longer tonight. She hates the crib so I will probably take that down and split the bunk beds up.

We have some beautiful pictures of her from today! She loves her daddy! Some times he can't even leave the room or she gets really upset. She really has taken to both of us. She'll pick which one she wants when. We went to a Buhdist Temple today. It was beautiful! After that we went to a tea ceremony and tasted different tea. Some tea from this area, some tea from other parts of China. I LOVE tea. Even The Count liked some of the tea. Lunch was AMAZING!!! We went to Pizza Hut! Hahaha It tasted so good and just like it does at home.

I've been fighting migraines since we've been in China. They are starting to get pretty bad and I have all of my meds with me. One of my travel buddies Kathy is also having problems with them so if you could keep us in your prayers that would be great. Please keep the babies in your prayers for their adjustments to their new strange ;) parents.

I must add, Twink is much bigger than I expected her to be. She fits in to some of her 24 month clothes but they are big in the waist and a little long. The 18 months will probably fit great in the pants but not in the shirt. I think she may even have the same size foot as Spitfire. My guess on her weight is that she is between 28-30lbs. She is beautiful and we are so blessed to be her parents! China is such a beautiful country!

Tomorrow we will be going to the Stone Forest. It is suppose to be amazing! I can hardly wait. Well she is up so I must go!

Cheri~

Frustrated!

Can the cast come off yet!?!? Ok, Twink's frustration level this week is at it's peak. Did I mention MY frustration level is at it's peak? The little one has figured out that she can use her casted fingers to do things that she couldn't the last two weeks. You see they didn't bring the cast down as far on her finger tips this last time so she is doing a wee bit more with her left hand.

She is still using her right hand which is awesome. Actually she is using both hands which is even better. That is actually the goal for this whole thing. I do believe that it may take another series of casting in the future but we will see. Twink's right thumb still gets tucked and I wonder if it's because she held it in that position for so long. We actually have some elastic tape to use that helps pull the thumb out instead of her big bulky splint.

The good thing, we should have the cast off for Christmas! We see her developmental doctor in two weeks. We will then see if she needs AFO's (special braces for her feet/legs). They PT wanted to give her a couple more months of actually walking. Twink as of LATE November has only been walking for ONE year. I'm sure she will need them as nothing has change and in her last report from her regular PT her muscles have actually become worse.

I learned a secret from someone somewhere along all of this. I keep a binder with all of Twink's medical recorders in them. All of her tests, her reports, and early intervention. It has become very helpful for having it all at my finger tips. She has so much going on and so many tests that it just easier to say well here is this and here is that. So that is my tip of the year! LOL

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Speechless

I stand in awe that Twink is doing as well as she is with her constraint therapy. The Lord is so good and I see him working with Twink!

Twink reacted much like we suspected she would at the doctors office. As you can see in the pictures in the post below she was angry. She did not want us restraining the arm and then when she could not get the cast off, OH MAN! She held her arm up in front of me and yelled. I imagined she was telling me that she did not like it and she wanted it off right now. That's when she proceeded to throw herself on the floor. I felt bad, but not as bad as some of the other things I've had to do. She finally let me pick her up and I looked at the OT as she is telling me instructions of how to cut it off it is just too much over the weekend. I looked her in the eye and told her that we she would be OK and that she will do well with it. I'm not sure she heard me through Twink's screams but I did hear her repeat that she will do well.

We left her office and Twink relaxed. When we returned home Twink was running around and playing with Spitfire like nothing even happened. Jewel yelled upstairs to tell me that she was signing with her right hand. Sure enough, she was. She was trying all sorts of different things that she had never done with it before.She was building block towers, opening doors (pull down handle) and pushing buttons.

Things have gone much easier than we could have ever imagined! We really thought she would have fought us longer but I am so relieved. She has been happy and playing like the cast is not even on. She is even trying to feed herself which is a bit hard but she is getting better at. I'm speechless with Twink's strength and determination. She is stronger than any child that I know and yet she has weakness on one side of her body. God has made her perfect in every way.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. We have felt those prayers. I pray that Twink continues to stay as relaxed about the casting as she starts therapy's this week. I will post more pictures later in the week. I will also do a video update on Fridays. The video below is from Friday night just hours after the casting. Look at Twink go! :) Speechless

Fun Days Ahead! (NOT)

We finally have a date set for Twink's botox injections. This will help relax the muscles that are tight in her right arm and right thumb. It is set for November 3rd and then on the 14th we are going to cast her unaffected arm or lack of a better term "good" arm. (I really don't like using good arm bad arm) This is in hopes to have Twink start using her right arm and hand more. She has actually started to use the arm more but not the hand. She is going to be very frustrated and very angry. If you could all keep us in your thoughts and prayers that would be great.

I was also able to schedule an appointment with the new neurologist. That visit won't happen until the end of December. Man, that seems so far away. I'm praying that everything goes smooth until we see them. It sounds like a very busy practice that attracts three different states! (YIKES) I know our state is in desperate need of good neurologists right now.

Twink's evaluation for the next step of EI is coming up. She will actually move out of EI and into the school system. That eval is next week with a CP group. I am excited about that because I am in hopes that maybe they can answer a few questions that I have. If they have an opening in one of the preschools then she will be placed in one of the five schools they have. It will be five days a week and five hours a day. She will receive therapy EVERYDAY!! This is something Twink is in need of. Her speech right now for an almost three year old is at 9-12 months. She is making improvements, slowly. Sigh

My next area of concern is does she fit in? I know she is a bit more *special* than some but let me tell you, she knows what your talking about. There are times she could careless what is going on around her and other times she def. wants in on the actions. She is frustrated when she can not get her point across or tell you what is going on. I've noticed we are not asked out on play dates which saddens me. Is it me or is it her or both. I fear things will only get worse as she gets older. I pray that this is just me being silly but it is a concern. I have an opportunity to talk to her teacher on Friday and will see how things are going in the class room. I am starting to catch a glimpse of what our future looks like with people on the outside world.

I want a bubble!

No need to respond to the last paragraph, it's more for me to get out my thoughts. Just an FYI, I am thinking of going private on the blog. If you'd like to continue reading please send me an e-mail so I have it in case I do.

What Was She Thinking?

I still wonder what Twink was thinking one day last week. You see I had to go to my neurosurgeon for a follow up appointment and I had Twink with me. This was following her appointment with her developmental doctor. Let me restate that Twink HATES doctors and their offices. She will cry the minute the door closes behind her.

When the door closed behind us for my appointment she was a bit tense but not bad. I let her get down and wander around the room. I decided she was becoming fussy so I pulled out some paper and crayons I had with me and she started to doodle. I heard a knock on the door and knew the doctor was about to enter. When he entered he greeted both myself and Twink. You see he looked over Twink's file when we first received her referral. He is a fantastic doctor. When Twink looked up and saw him she RAN to him with her arm up. She wanted him to pick her up. I was in shock! I told him that she does this for no one and in fact she cries at every appointment even if it is not for her. I must let you in on a small piece of information and tell you that he is Chinese. He picked her up and she laid her head on his shoulder for a good 3 minutes. When he looked at me as if you really need to take her I called to her and told her she need to come back to mama. He handed her off to me and she WAILED! Not only did she wail but she arched her back and wanted NOTHING to do with me. I felt like I was reliving out Metcha Day. I was stunned. I couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't really know what to do. He picked her back up and began this conversation with her, " Twink, your Mama and Daddy are taking very good care of you and are getting you all the help you need. They love you very much." He continued to hold her and pat her back for a few more minutes and then he told her it was time to go back to mama. At that moment Twink turned around looked at me smiled and leaned over for me. She was ready to go home. I think I was in shock. He was so sweet with but I was so saddened by what had just happened.

I wonder what was going through her little mind. He is the first Chinese man that she has seen up close since China. Oh, if only I could read her mind.

WHY??

I'm sitting here tonight looking over some of my video from Twink's Metcha Day in China. I was dumbfounded by something I had never noticed before but KNEW while I was there. I remember telling EVERYONE in that room and asking a question that was answered with a no! In my video I saw a man fixing Twink's hair to make her look beautiful for us. I thought in the video it was one of the directors but it was not! It was her FOSTER DAD! I am heart broken that our guide did not tell us who he was. I asked him if that's who was over there and I was told no. I had this gut feeling the way he was hovering over her, you could just tell. To have had a picture of all of us together would have been priceless. To communicated a few words would have been priceless! I can not describe my feelings. I am just so saddened. I wonder what he thought when we didn't speak to him! :(