Please Read

The reason for moving my blog address and giving my children nicknames is because they are getting older and I wanted them to have a little bit of privacy. We've also had a peeping Tom snooping around our house. Jewel saw heard this person knock on the window downstairs shortly after we arrived back from China. This is not the first time we've had one. Jewel waited almost two weeks to tell us about the incident. It did freaked her out quite a bit.

I'm also very careful not to blog where we live. I always say north east but never give my state. If someone does place where live in their comments I will not be able to post their comments. Same with the kids real names. We can never be too careful when it comes to safety and our children. I went to an internet safety awareness at the kids school and it really opened my eyes.

I also just wanted to move so that I had a bit more freedom to post my feelings. Now that family is one blog and adoption community/friends is on another I don't have to worry and can be even more open. I can touch on a few things that I wouldn't if the family were to read.

So please, use the nicknames and if you know where I live please do not post it or I will not be able to approve your post. I hope that clears up why I moved and why I am using nicknames. :)

*So I was the first offender of using the kids name! LOL Thanks Carla for giving me the heads up.

Deaf NOT Dumb

Pictures are from last week when Bebo received his new Phonak hearing aids. Pictures pretty much speak for themselves.

 So Excited!

Surprised by sound

 Pleased!

This is how China labels some of their deaf children in the waiting children program. It is not acceptable as these children are not dumb!

When people find out that Bebo is deaf I get that "Oh" and a long pause. Up until recently you would not have known he had any hearing issues. Now with his hearing aides, it is a little bit more obvious. I've had a wild array of comments from the moment he arrived. Anywhere from does he read your lips (this just coming home from China) to questions of his intelligence. Why do people automatically think he has intellectual impairment?

What I'm also find is that people like to go to the extremes! They approach him and then talk really slowly to him stretching their mouth out making it difficult to lip read. He tries his hardest to repeat the word back. It is not going to sound anything like what the person is trying to get him to say. The sounds that he makes is Ba, occasionally Ma and some sounds that come from his throat. You know, like humming. He is not a mute. People are surprised that he makes noise. I think this is one of the most common misinformed pieces of information of deaf people. If they are not doing that they will shout - distorting their lip patterns, again this makes it difficult to lip read.  He is deaf you know, not stupid so just talk normally or just a little bit slower. Not too slow as this makes YOU look really silly. Don't be afraid to tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, it’s OK and helps. Waving is mighty handy as well. Yelling at him from behind does not work even with his new hearing aids in. Just because he has those in does not mean he knows what he hears. Every sounds he hears is brand new and he can not distinguish what is what.

Bebo has done well with simple gestures. That is all China taught him the whole 7 yrs he was there. OK, they found out we were coming so they scrambled and taught him a few "signs". He is signing more and more thanks to his amazing school and the signs that we've taught him at home.

Quote:

"For Hearing People Only" (Third Edition) by Matthew S Moore and Linda Levitan. With a foreward by Harlan Lane. Both are Deaf so forth, Linda is Latened Deaf.


Think about the last time you used the word "dumb". you used it to describe something stupid, clumsy, or foolish, right? A century ago, this term was in common use. Nobody thought twice about its propriety. It's outmoded now, and insultingly inaccurate. We're aware that this term is still used in England to describe someone who is deaf, but that doesn't say much for the discernment of those who persist in using it. As for the correct term, why not simply say "deaf"?


"Mute" prefers to someone who cannot talk, that is, produce intelli-gible speech, or someone who has malfunctioning or missing vocal cords. "Mutism" is a medical or psychological condition_the inability or refusal to produce sounds. Virtually all deaf person are physically and psychologically normal in this area. They have vocal cords and voices, just as the vast majority of hearing people do. This also applies to deaf people who prefer to communicate exclusively in sign language. Their vocal apparatus is perfectly normal. But, being deaf, they cannot hear themselves talk, and thus, cannot easily modulate their voices. Consider: If you were born deaf or became deaf as an infant and have never heard yourself talk, it's extremely difficult to talk clearly, with normal intonation. So signing is the natural mode of communication for many deaf people; speaking can never be. A few deaf people have good clear articulation better than some hearing people but most don't. It's a matter of personal preference, deciding what we feel most comfortable with.

We dislike these terms because they now convey a negative attitude. "Deaf and dumb" does not connote pride or wholeness. It conjures a pitiful, pathetic, dull-witted image, with a hint of subnormal intelligence. "Deaf-Mute" suggests that a deaf person is doomed to a life of silence, without speech, without hope. We've run into these terms repeatedly, and we find them annoying, inaccurate, and insulting.

Hope this information helps. :)

Goal!

We had a busy weekend of soccer! Both Spitfire and Bebo play Saturday mornings, usually back to back. This past week Spitfire's soccer game was first. She played great once we were able to get her out onto the field. See, the child is extremely shy and needs to warm up to people. If there is a crowd of people it makes matters worse. I could never see her doing dance! LOL She would just stand on stange with her arms folded a crossed her chest.

Here she is fighting for the ball down near her teams goal.

 Celebrating her first goal of the game!

Running to her coach after her goal.

Bebos game was right after hers. In fact we had to leave her game fifteen minutes early. It really didn't matter as I had watched her kick in 6 goals! She has really blossomed into a much better soccer player this year. Dad and Spitfire came to Bebos game right after and informed me that she scored two more goals for a total of eight goals for the day! WOW!

Bebo did really good as well. He played really hard and almost kicked a goal in. He loves to play soccer but he needs to build his stamina and remember to look up even when he thinks they are not playing. It will come in time. It was only his second game. The kids on his team are great as well as his coaches. We have been really blessed so far.

Look at him run!

Oh so proud! (Love that smile!)

Waiting for his turn to go back in.

Both kids would love to have a practice or a game every night but this mama is happy we don't ! LOL I do love to watch them though.

End Of School Year

The end of the school year is under way pretty much everywhere. We northerners have about six more weeks of school but some of you only have a couple weeks left. I wanted to share with you something that was suggested to me way back when my son oldest son was in kindergarten.

I'm sure many of you are aware of the book Oh,The Places You'll Go ~ Dr. Seuss.  Every year since kindergarten I have sent this book to school with my son in a manila envelope with a note attached explaining to the teacher why I'm sending it in. I ask the teacher to write a little note to Dash as I plan on giving it to him the day he graduates from high school. After next year it may become harder as that is when he will switch classes for every subject BUT he will have had 7 different teacher  write some encouraging comments to him.

This year I plan on buying three more books! Spitfire will receive one as she is in kindergarten. I should have started hers in preschool. Twink will receive one as she is in preschool. Bebo will receive one as he is in 2nd grade. Jewel was older when I started this so she has no book! :( I'll have to think of something else special for her.

Hope you like the idea!

My Heart Broke Yesterday!

Yesterday I went to pick up Bebo from school. I am always early so that he does not have to wait and wonder where I am. I was early and waiting in my van when I noticed some of the little children had come out. I decided I would get out of the van and go in and wait.

That's when it happened. I saw the two boys from his class exiting the building and coming down the stairs. "Mr. Excited" came up to me and started signing as fast as he could. He was pointing to the building, looked mad concerned and then the only sign I could understand was the very last one, "good". I know he was talking about Bebo but I have no idea what he signed. :( All I could do was nod. :( My heart shattered into a million pieces. I want so bad to communicate with the children and the adults but my sign level and confident level is no where near what I'd like. If only the college didn't double the price of their ASL classes because we were are out of that county.

Bebo was waiting for me inside and was very excited to see me. I think it was good for him to have to wait for me so that he understood that I would come for him. Last night we were looking over his photo book and when he reached our old family picture he points to himself like he always does and questions where he is. We are slackers and have not had a new one that includes him done yet. Soon though I promise! It is evident it is important to him. Then he see the picture of our house and and a smile starts on his face. It becomes SO big that he opens his mouth and a little squeal is released. He threw his arms around me and was just so excited! I'm not sure where this all came from because we've looked at this book a number of times but he saw it in a whole new light.

We finished his bedtime routine. The Count and I tuck him in at separate times for a little one on one. I covered him up signed good night, see you later, and I love you. Fixed his blankets and that's when he usually pulls the blankets up so we don't kiss him. It's kind of a game we play. Last night he puckered up and wanted a kiss from me!!! It was so sweet.

I think Bebo was beginning to think he'd never go to school. I mean he watched as the other children left everyday and he stayed behind. He really has changed quit a bit since he has gone to school. Maybe it is just me. LOL I really needed him to go to school. He is doing great and picking up some new signs. His friends have really embraced him and are really a great bunch of children. I could not have ask for him to be in a better class!

1st Day of School!

Last week was spring break or Bebo would have started school. We had his IEP meeting the week before so he was able to go sit in on his class for a second time. All four of the children in the class we so excited to see him that day. They were pretty bummed that he only stayed an hour but very excited to know that after break that he would be coming all day.

Sunday night we explained the best we could to Bebo that he would be going to school when he woke up. I showed him his orange backpack and his Cars lunch bag that he picked out. He knew what those were for as he's seen me for the last two months pack lunches and put backpacks on the girls as they go out the door for school. When he went up to bed and I told him that when he woke up we would drive to school with his backpack his eyes became real big, he clapped his hands and squealed! He signed he was going to sleep right then. :)

The boy was up and as excited as could be Monday morning! Can you see him beaming with pride with his new backpack and lunch pal in the above picture. Oh, I'm sure you can see his nerves start to settle in in the second picture. They didn't last long. We went right up to his class room and his friends and teacher were waiting for him. One little boy gave him a great big hug when he saw him. It was really a the sweetest thing. Bebo brought his photo album from home that had all the pictures of our family. One of his teachers wanted pictures with labels for his language development so we sent the book in. I thought it might help him feel more comfortable the first week. I'll send the individual pictures next week.

There are five children in his class, four boys and one girl. The little girl is from Burma. All the children have some sorta of hearing aid or cochlear except one little boy. Bebo receives his hearing aids next week. He seems excited but I'm not really sure he knows what is coming. The woman in the brown shirt above is his main teacher and the other woman is the audiologist. She visits the room every morning to make sure all the children's hearing devices are working correctly. 

The school developed another program as they were seeing a large population of children coming over from other countries with no previous language like Bebo. He spends a good chunk of his day with his teacher Kara. Kara is trying to catch Bebo up with the rest of his peers. She is teaching him the pre-writing, pre-read/vocabulary and pre-math skills. He is learning very fast. Ummm, did I tell you that they put him in 2nd grade? That means in a couple months he will be in 3rd grade! Hmm, I'm not so sure about that one. The good thing is they combine 3&4 grade. He will attend summer school to help him catch up.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! We've been crazy busy around here. I've had to drive Bebo to and from school everyday this week. Praying that the busing situation is figured out soon. Hopefully we'll have some soccer pictures for you soon! :)

How Far We've Come

**Video has been added at the end of the post! :) Thanks Carla L.!!

Two years ago we received word on the extent of Twinks "disability". It was shocking to say the least. We did not expect to hear cerebral palsy and we did not expect to hear that she would never be able to talk. We we not prepared for the possibility of Autism as well. We simply thought she had a brain cyst.

If you look at the first three pictures below you can see what we dealt with pretty much on a daily basis. A truly frustrated, withdrawn, grief stricken child. There were many happy times but Twink had these tantrums below multiple times a day. Remember this post? I can happily say Twink does not do this anymore. Well maybe on a much lower level. The blank look I was told was Autism. She did display a few signs of it. We did have her tested and she narrowly passed the test from what I was told just a couple of months ago. I was am convinced it was a mixture of her brain injury and post-institutional autism. Her developmental doctor wanted to retest her in the coming months. Which leads me to this post!

We saw Twinks developmental doctor last week and we blew her out of the water with how far she has come. Twinks speech is coming at us faster than we can keep up. Some of it is still unclear and she still babbles from time to time but this child will tell you what is on her mind! She has new phrases that she has picked up, let me share them with you.

- Noooooo
- Go away
- Wanna go in the car/outside/play
- Kids bothering me
- Leave me alone
- We going to church
- I go potty
- It hurts (she says this for EVERYTHING!!)
- She names everyone in the house by name
- Says thank-you until you say your welcome

There are so many more! Some really funny ones too but I just can not think of them off the top of my head. Everyone has noticed how much more she is talking. Her doctor did not even mention testing her again! Twink visits this doctor every three months so you can get a good idea how much she has progressed in three short months. In fact this whole school year has been amazing progress for her.

Our girl has over come so much! Remember back to when the doctor told us she would never talk was gut wrenching. I'd say it was the worst day of our life as parents but many of you know we've had worse days than that! It was a hard day though. To think that you will never hear your sweet childs voice is a hard pill to swallow. That very same night the Lord gave me a glimer of hope to hold onto. Twink said Mama that night! That very same night the doctor told me she would never talk.

After her very first seizure Twink lost every word that she gained as well as every new sound she made. Same thing happened with her second seizure to a little bit less degree. With every seizure I live with a little fear that she will be set back in her speech. I'd like to say that I'd be OK with it if she lost her speech capability but I've had a small glimpse at what she is capably of doing. I don't want to go backwards. She has fought so hard to get to where she is and we will keep fighting this fight with her. She is my inspiration!

Twink is the reason why we were open to a child with a hearing disability. She opened our eyes that communication comes in forms other than verbal. So while we fight to help her become verbal we fight another fight to help our son become fluent in American Sign Language. Who by the way started school yesterday! I'll post tomorrow about his first couple of days.

To those parents who have children with speech delay don't give up hope. It's a long road but as long as your willing to press on then you will see progress. Baby steps all the way! :)

I had a video to put up but I see that blogger no longer has the capability to place video's on your blog. What happened? Anyone know how I can put a video on?

The picture below is Twink dancing with her shadow!