Looking Fear In The Eyes

Have you ever looked into an animal or a persons eyes and seen fear? I don't mean just any fear, I mean shear terror? I have and I see it more than I would like.

Twink has an extreme fear of doctors, dentists, etc. She is fine walking into the office but as soon as it is time to head back for her to be weighed and measured it is a total melt down. This is where her fear starts and my lack of muscles come into play. As long as it is a routine check things are pretty good. I call pretty good screaming, crying, and kicking. If the visit is one where she needs to be held for something then it is a different story.

Twink does not like to be restrained. It does not matter if I do it or someone else does. For the record, I prefer to be the one to do as I can be the one who looks into her eyes and talks to her. She has had so many tests where we have had to hold her. Numerous sedations, Castings, Botox, EKG, Echo, X-ray's, Lab Work but the worst two have been the EEG's and her eye exams. Both have to deal with her super sensitive head which has major sensory issues compounded with us holding her down. She goes into this fight or flight response. The only thing is she does not do the OR it's both!

Holding her for these procedures is nothing short of a miracle. The physical strength this child demonstrates during these times is mind boggling. It takes every ounce of energy and all my strength to hold her. Most times that is not enough.

Looking into her eyes during those moments breaks my heart. She looks like a scared trapped animal looking for a way out. Many times I have to look away when she is like that. You see her fear, her terror in her eyes. They are scanning the room searching for a way out. Searching for a reason as to why this treatment is being done. Soaking in every face that is doing this to her. Screaming at the top of her lungs that it hurts and she does not want it. Shaking her head back and forth. Her face soaked with tears and snot streaming down her face. It's all I can do not to cry with her. I know what they are doing is only helping her but times like those it's hard. It's hard to see her react like that.

All is better within a few minutes of each procedure with a little love and some holding. Oh how we dread those appointments though.

Racial Identification?

The look from Twink is about how I feel when we received a letter home from our local school district. The letter/form title reads Student Racial and Ethnic Identification. It states in this letter that they have adopted a new policy that requires them to collect this information. The information will be used for the following:

- Report information to the State and Federal Education Departments
- Plan educational programs and make sure that they are readily available to all students.
- Study the movement of students in different ethnic groups as they move from school to school.
- Analyze differences in academic performance, attendance and completion of school.

If this form is not filled out a student records officer from our school or the district will be required to identify the group to which the student appears to belong, identifies with, or is regarded in the community as belonging.

Does anybody else see this as wrong? I know people who do not have children of a minority race see no problem with it but I just do not see why this is REQUIRED! We have already given this information once when we register the child for school so why do have to do it again?

I can tell you that both of my children from China are register with the school system but do not attend the schools. One goes to a deaf school and the other is in the preschool program. We are moving out of the school district but I am disappointed that they have decided they needed this new policy.

What are your thoughts?

Flags Galore!

 

We went to a local park Sunday after we heard about all the flags that they had displayed for Memorial Day. Actually they were doing a fundraiser for a local school and this was the beautiful results. I think I read there was 1,300 flags and honestly it was a sight to see. 

These pictures really do not do them justice.

Favor Please

If you have our old blogs linked on your side bar can you remove them and replace it with our new one if your inclined to. I really don't mind if you put the new one up I just really don't want the old one up. Many thanks from our family! :)

Oh and for some reason I've lost some of you comments from the last post.

New Glasses!

Twink received her new glasses yesterday. I'd like to say it went without any tears but anyone with a child with sensory issues knows that was not the case. She hates it when anyone does anything with her head. We've finally arrive to a point where brushing her teeth is not a fight but it took a TON of therapy. Brushing her hair is good as well but that too took along time.

When we placed the frames on Twinks face she went into hysterics! She kept screaming, "I don't wan em" over and over. I whisked her out of the building and brought her home where everyone was roasting marshmallows. That seemed to calm her down a bit. Give her food and she is happy as a lark. I started to notice she was looking all around taking it all in. You could tell she sees better. 

Today she has only told me a few times that she did not want them but there has been no tears! She off playing and having a great time. We will beat those sensory issues yet!

Baby of The House

Twink is the baby of the house when it comes down to the ages of all of the children. I've been thinking about something for now for awhile. When we decided to adopt last time we knew we were going to go older and in between Spitfire and Dash. I've always felt that Twink needed to be the "baby" of the house.

It was my thought that she would not do well with someone younger than her. When in fact she actually plays better with a child that is a year or two younger than her. See I believe it is more my own fear that plays into that mind set.

The thought of Twink having a younger sibling makes me quite sad. The thought of that sibling one day surpassing her in something just does not give me warm cozies. We recently had a little tike (almost 1.9 yr old) over at our house and I could not believe how well she was talking! Made my stomach kind of ache. Then I did a little dance for how far our girl has actually come. My niece Special K who will be 1 yr next month is pooping in the potty! Ummm, I can't for the life of me get Twink to poop in the potty. She is fully pee trained but no poops. I actually think she is withholding.

When I get frustrated people feel the need to remind me that Twink either had a stroke or has cerebral palsy. REALLY!! I forgot that tiny tidbit, thanks for reminding me. It's pretty hard not to compare your 4 1/2 yr old to a younger child who is far exceeding what your child is doing. Most days I'm fine but there are days that are harder than some.

Twink just has her own rhythm that she moves to! :)

Who's The Boss?

 Twink signing to Spitfire "Stop"!

If you answered either Spitfire or Twink than you must know that these two little girls are making us crazy lately! They both think they are the boss of the house. Between the tattling, yelling and face making we need to keep them separated. Only problem with that is they look forward to playing with each other when they get home from school. Spitfire is the culprit for most of the problems, as she like to be the instigator. Boy does she know how to get under Bebos skin!

Apparently Miss Twink thinks she is the boss at school as well! I received a note home stating that her speech is exploding. Not only that she is bossing her teacher around and tattling on the other children. I'm sure they think it's cute but we don't. I'm going to have to make sure they do not continue to allow either behavior.

We really can't put our finger on when Twinks language took off but she is really talking up a storm. She is talking in sentences and we can usually understand what she is saying. We saw three different older children that we had not seen since last fall and when they heard her talk they were shocked. The first thing they said is, "She can talk now?" Can you imagine how proud I was to say yes! :) We're loving it but holy smokes this child can yell momma for a long while!