I still wonder what Twink was thinking one day last week. You see I had to go to my neurosurgeon for a follow up appointment and I had Twink with me. This was following her appointment with her developmental doctor. Let me restate that Twink HATES doctors and their offices. She will cry the minute the door closes behind her.
When the door closed behind us for my appointment she was a bit tense but not bad. I let her get down and wander around the room. I decided she was becoming fussy so I pulled out some paper and crayons I had with me and she started to doodle. I heard a knock on the door and knew the doctor was about to enter. When he entered he greeted both myself and Twink. You see he looked over Twink's file when we first received her referral. He is a fantastic doctor. When Twink looked up and saw him she RAN to him with her arm up. She wanted him to pick her up. I was in shock! I told him that she does this for no one and in fact she cries at every appointment even if it is not for her. I must let you in on a small piece of information and tell you that he is Chinese. He picked her up and she laid her head on his shoulder for a good 3 minutes. When he looked at me as if you really need to take her I called to her and told her she need to come back to mama. He handed her off to me and she WAILED! Not only did she wail but she arched her back and wanted NOTHING to do with me. I felt like I was reliving out Metcha Day. I was stunned. I couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't really know what to do. He picked her back up and began this conversation with her, " Twink, your Mama and Daddy are taking very good care of you and are getting you all the help you need. They love you very much." He continued to hold her and pat her back for a few more minutes and then he told her it was time to go back to mama. At that moment Twink turned around looked at me smiled and leaned over for me. She was ready to go home. I think I was in shock. He was so sweet with but I was so saddened by what had just happened.
I wonder what was going through her little mind. He is the first Chinese man that she has seen up close since China. Oh, if only I could read her mind.
Oh wow Cheri, I don't know what I would have done.
ReplyDeleteWe had the opposite with Aria- every single Asian person she saw, she would SCREAM and clutch me.
I felt so bad, because they were just being kind, but she would have none of it.
I think it is wonderful that he encouraged her to go back to you the way he did.
It sounds like he handled it phenomenally. I know how much it must have hurt.
ReplyDeleteWhen we'd been home six months, the Tongginator fell backwards off a children's picnic table. She bumped her head pretty hard. When I tried to comfort her, she completely stiffed armed me and began wailing for her Abu (foster momma). It hurt me so much -- I thought, "it's been six months, what the heck am I doing this for?" Not my proudest moment - but it was what it was. It hurt SO MUCH!
I say all of that to let you know where I am coming from. Hugs to you - huge hugs!
I bet he reminded her of her foster-dad. I bet she still remembers her foster parents and probably still misses them. As much as she LOVES you, they will always be a part of her. It is so wonderful that she was taken care of so well.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me the Dr handled her fantastic!
Don't doubt her love for you, but just remember she loved her other parents too. This man just reminded her of that.
Love ya, Sis
Wow. That must have been hard. There was a period of time that I could tell Mei Mei favored the chinese doctors over the caucasian ones. They simply don't forget. Mei Mei gets nervous anytime we go anywhere that looks'office' or 'gov't office' like. For example: the bank. She actually whimpers in my arms. We are flying to Texas next week and I am concerned about how she will do on the plane.
ReplyDelete{HUG} Katie has a fear of white coats, and our pediatrician's office has a notation on her chart to change out of it before coming into the room with her.
ReplyDeleteKatie is also fearful of asian women with makeup on who talk to her...like climbing up my body, monkey crawling around to be as far away as possible. She does NOT like meeting Asian women either. I'm hoping that goes away.
I have NO idea what I would do if Katie attached to someone like that and screamed when I took her back. Wow. I can only hope that what the doctor said to her gave her some sense of closure she needed.
That's so interesting. Something about that man was a comfort to her...something familiar. She knows who her mama is :) I'm not sure what I would've done, either.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry! HUGS!!
Oh, I wanted to mention that I gave you an award on my blog!
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!