You've probably all been wondering where I've been. OK maybe some of you have and some of you could careless! ;) I've always said I would be honest with all of you on this blog. It helps others who are adoptive parents learn. If we can't share and learn from each other than what is the point of our blogs?
Please know that I love my family and my children with all of my heart. They are my life. Also know that I love Bebo as well. I am forever grateful that God chose our family for him! We entered his adoption much like Twinks, with no exception.
The past couple of weeks have been hard. I am really struggling. I wish I could pin it all on one thing but there is so much going on around me that I become so overwhelmed. Bebo has adjust better than we could have ever asked for but I wish I could say the same for me. Some days I do better but other days I'm terrible. Sometimes I feel a huge rage just well up inside of me, it is kind of scary. I'm not even sure where it comes from. By the end of the day I've had enough noise, kids, fighting, tattling, etc. I just want to hear myself think for a few minutes.
Dealing with chronic pain on a daily basis does not help. Not much I can do to relieve it, just pray that warm weather comes quickly. We are tossing around the idea of moving and what that would mean in terms of schooling for Bebo and Twink. We would not be close enough to the state school for the deaf for Bebo which has us a bit stressed. Twink has other options so we are not worried about her.
It was suggested we buy Bebo hearing aids. We are working on trying to find possible grants that work with children who are deaf for the aids. We were told they cost about 2K for each one. With that said The Count and I are not in agreement with cochlear implants. We have to do at least 6 months of HA's before we reach any decision of CI. We see the cleft team the first week of May. Our dentist told us that there is a possibility there may something more going on with Bebo but will not know anything until we see this team of doctors.
As you can see there is quite a bit going on and this mama is feeling a bit stressed. I know we are still trying to adjust as a family. I've been here before, I know it will get better but the road seems long and dark some days.I am struggling.
Sweet Friend! I will be praying for good rest for you and peace of mind. Thanks for sharing your heart and life with us. It helps me to know how to pray.
ReplyDeleteI know how it can get so overwhelming sometimes that you can't even think straight. But then it seems to pass as quickly as it came in. I believe a day will come when you look back at this time and give God the glory for all that He taught you.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Blessings and Peace to you
Ginny
Cheri,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty! Over the past year...since bringing Mia Hope home...I have had many days like the one you have described. I keep wondering what is wrong with my brain because I can't seem to think clearly half of the time. Being a fulltime mom to a SN child is not always easy.
I love the bible verse that Ginny wrote...it's one of my favorites and it is so very true.
Prayers that life will ease up on you a bit! You are not alone. :)
Hugs!
Robin
Sending hugs your way. My cousin's little boy is profoundly deaf. They researched and were considered CIs, but he is doing extremely well with the hearing aids now. I'm sure you have lots of people and information on the topic, but if you'd like to talk to her, email me and I can give you her contact info.
ReplyDelete-Tara
From one busy and stressed adoptive mom to another.. I hear you... and I am praying for you. THANK you for your honesty! It would have helped me in 1998 if people had been more real but we got through. Thanks for helping others and letting us know how we can help you by sharing what we should pray for.
ReplyDeleteYou can be confident of one thing and that is that we will all be praying for you,but even better than that.... Jesus Himself who sits on the right hand of the Father, is interceding for you daily!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being real!
So sorry to read that you're hurting physically and otherwise...Praying, knowing He will grant extra grace, pain relief, unity, strength, clarity, peace and encouragement right now and in the days to come.
ReplyDeleteExcitedly expectant to see all He has in store for your lovely family!
I am so sorry Cheri....I know you love your family but I also know that as mom's even the best of us have our season's of struggle. I had neck surgery the year before Hudson came home. I had lived with terrible pain most of my adult life and it was unbearable the last few months. I know how hard it is to just "do life" in the midst of pain.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being honest here....the blogs I love the best and know I am praying for you. Things are a bit stressful here too and I kept telling myself "one day at a time"......
Cheri,
ReplyDeleteI wish I had words of wisdom, but all I can do sometimes myself is pray. I often just go to the bathroom, lock the door, and sit and pray, just to have time to myself, which is not often. My children follow me from room to room watching my every move. It can be tough with no personal time and pain and the unknowns on top of that. I will keep you in prayers. You know that you have a Savior who is concerned for you.
I appreciate you speaking from your heart and being honest! I hear you and I understand what you are going through. You are overwhelmed and have a lot on your plate. It will get better.
ReplyDeleteWe've had Cassandra with us for 6 months. I so remember the first month or two that she was here and how I kept telling my husband that I wish I could just fast forward 6 months or a year because I knew things would be better... at least a little. Those first few months can be such a struggle because everyone in the family is having to adjust and find a new comfort level or place in the family. I also remember telling my husband how nice it would be when everyone in the family quit acting like we have a visitor In the house. Things aren't as overwhelming for us now, as they were 5 months ago, but I still have days I really struggle to get through and wonder what the heck was I thinking...
God will carry you through this! Your family will be in my prayers!
No words can express how I feel for your situation. Praying things get at least a little better each day. Anything I can do, just call!! The entire family is loved!!
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessing to many!! Hang in there, God doesn't give you more than you can handle, no matter how it may seem, he is with you. Hugs and Love, Sandie
Although I don't share much on my blog, I think I've shared with you privately how much I struggled my first year home with the Tongginator. (((hugs))) It's normal. And it too shall pass. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSending a great big giant hug your way Cheri! Sounds like God is allowing you to be chiseled a bit and I KNOW that you'll come through this time even more gorgeous then you already are! Hang in there and know that I will be praying!
ReplyDeleteCheri, Hi! BOY do I understand that huge anger welling up inside of you. It happens frequently to me since we brought home our last child. I am desperetely praying for our new normal and I WANT to embrace it but it is so so hard.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
:-)
-Nicole
www.bakerssweets.blogspot.com