Monday, June 1, 2009
This Momma Needs Help!
I'm not really sure where to begin. As you can see from the video Twinks melt downs are what is on my (our) mind. I really thought that after a year and half that they would improve. We are dealing with these numerous times a day and to be honest they are about to send me over the deep end. I am a mess. I feel like I am on pins and needless and I myself am ready to cry at the drop of a hat. If Twink doesn't get her way it sets her off. If she doesn't like something the crying can go on forever!
I just don't know what to do. I don't know if it sensory related, behavioral issues due to the stroke, adoption related or typical toddler behavior. We are a waiting to hear when her appointment is for her sensory evaluation, shouldn't be too much longer. Her developmental doctor did tell us that Twink is a bit extreme with her emotions. More so than most the patients she sees. She mentioned that if her behavior were to continue into the school years that she may need a small dose of medication. The medication she mentioned I know very well as I used it at the hospital I worked at. Bob and I have started her on some Omega's so hopefully that will actually help with her behavior as well as her speech. I have talked with The Count about seeking out an attachment therapist.
I am to the point where I do not look forward to bringing her out in public. One wrong move and the whole event is shot. It usually stems from her not having her way. If we ask her to walk she will refuse and plop down and start screaming. She likes to do this when she comes home from school or if we ask her to hold hands. She is upset really easy. I would call her SUPER sensitive. If she is upset and The Count or I hold her, it only makes things worse. She cries harder and longer which makes me tense. If I give her a quick hug and kiss, let her cry, walk a way and ignore her it does not last as long. Is this wrong though?
We love Twink with all our heart and would not trade any of this for the world. As frustrated as this is she truly brings a ton of JOY to our family. All we want to do is help her and I'm not sure what to do. We have been helping her physically but what about the emotional aspect? Any suggestions would be helpful.
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You know it could easily be a bit from all sources. I can understand how the tantrums would make you crazy, and wanting to make them better...but not being able to would be tough. While it would be nice to let her have her way every time, it isn't best either...even if it does make things easier in the short term.
ReplyDeleteI remember well with JM having to choose ONE thing at a time to work on instead of trying to work on all parts at once. Like, if I wanted him to walk beside me...then I focused on that and didn't EVER give in until he would finally walk beside me holding my hand. However, during that time I didn't try to correct him from screaming in an outside voice to talk at the same time. KWIM? Once we mastered walking beside me, then I moved on to the screaming in an outside voice.
It's such a HARD road. Sensory meltdowns are so different from regular tantrums. I remember well one screaming tantrum episode that lasted over an hour...in the car...all because we didn't let him wash his hands by himself at the gas station restroom. Who cares that the sink was ABOVE his head, and Daddy only lifted him up so he could reach the sink. He threw a tantrum because he was lifted up! For OVER AN HOUR. {HUG}
Cheri, I feel your pain. I'll email you later. I hear Ms. now so I need to get up there. She still will NOT get out of her bed, though I tell her she can and she clearly knows what I'm saying. Breaks.my.heart.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe too that you are in a bit of a "fire" if you will. We have seen tensions mounting as of late … remember the Enemy? I think the flashing light analogy applies to both of our families here … he does not want another child to come HOME.
Wow, Cheri I have no idea what to say here. Malia is super sensitive to everything. If we look at her wrong she will start to cry and its not always an obvious cry either. Sometimes she does the silent cry which is heart breaking to watch. She does not throw tantrums (yet) but I really do believe that the sensitivity thing is due to her stroke. I hope you find help or at least some answers soon, I will be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteShe really doesn't throw and fits but she will whine a lot.
P.S. I'm still trying to talk Malia's OT into doing constraint therapy.
Praying for wisdom
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some encouragement, but I have only been in your shoes for 2 days.... total. I am sure that these other girls can help you more than I can.
ReplyDeleteI will say that you are an awesome Mom and despite the fact that you don't feel like you know what you are doing... you do! I really feel that the more you give her attention when she is mad and acts out, the more she will do it. If she falls down and hurts herself, that is a different story. I totally think that you are doing the right things with her. As discouraging as it can be... she is 3 and we all know that 3 yr olds sensory issues or not, are going to test their parents. It is just harder because there is so much for you to consider with her. You know what you are doing though. I strongly believe that. Don't doubt yourself. **BIG HUGS**
I just came upon your blog again and have only been home with our son for 5 months. He throws some doozy fits too but I too see that he does best if I walk away. He fortunately hasn't done it in public *yet*. I started putting him in him room but would tell him I loved him, but couldn't allow him to act this way and he could come out when he was done. I've noticed his tantrums shortening. Maybe I'm just lucky but if I catch him in the beginning of a tantrum and ask if he wants to go to his room, many times he will stop before I count to three. (On three we go to his room.) I hope if gets better for you! {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteGirl...you and I need to talk!!! I know we've talked about the girls meltdowns in the past. Cana still does the same thing..several times a day and pretty much every night. We've just started OT for her mega SPD!! I could have written your post...email me and let's find time to chat! HUGS..Love ya girl and I AM PRAYING and I know EXACTLY what you are feeling...stacy
ReplyDeletewearechinabound@gmail.com
This is my first time visiting your blog, so I don't know much history. But I am a sped teaher and have a daughter with sensory needs who has gone through lots of therapy as a baby.
ReplyDeleteI feel a lot of her frustrations may be due to her not being able to tell you her needs/wants. If she is not as verbal as she can understand, she is probably frustrated that she can't tell you what she would like. In the future, you might want to see if they can look into an augminative communication device. It could open up the world for her.
Also, an OT who is versed in sensory disorders might do well. We just put our daughter back in with an OT and after only a few sessions, he knows how to break her down and let her realize who is boss. She hates going b/c she knows he won't let her get away with getting her way! Things are getting better!
I'll be praying for you and your daughter.
I am a young adult who has Asperger Syndrome and struggled with meltdowns in the past. One of the things my specialist recommend was Omega 3s. They did make a major difference. I am also on low doses of a couple medications and am able to enjoy a good quality of life with them. You can email me at touchedbyanalien@hotmail.com if you want more information.
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